He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
