he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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