just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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