idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
