her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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