I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
