yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
