I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
