I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
