I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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