Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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