He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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