I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
