Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
