She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Randomize
