Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
