is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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