this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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