Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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