Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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