My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
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