so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
