omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i think my mom watched the whole time
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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