U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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