you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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