then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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