Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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