I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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