Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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