I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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