Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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