no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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