Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
