worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
