I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
