So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
