Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
