I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
