Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
