At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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