We're like a lot better than the average bears
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
