I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
