Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize