it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
