I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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