think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
