She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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