So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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