Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
