He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Randomize
